The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who severs the bond of kinship with him
‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who severs the bond of kinship with him."
«لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الْوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا».
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) mentions that the one who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship and shows kindness to his relatives is not that person who repays kindness with kindness, but the one who truly and perfectly upholds kinship ties is the one with whom if the ties of kinship are severed, he maintains them; and if they do wrong to him, he responds to them with goodness.
المكافئ: الذي يكافئهم على صلتهم له، إن وصلوه وصلهم وإن قطعوه قطعهم.
وصلها: برها وأحسن إليها.
Maintaining kinship ties in the Shariah is when you maintain the ties with those who sever them, forgive those who do wrong to you, and give to those who refuse to give to you; it is not about reciprocating goodness with goodness.
Ties with one's relatives are maintained by showing as much good to them as possible, in the form of money, supplication, commanding the right and forbidding the wrong, and so on, and by averting evil from them to the best of one's ability.
Sahīh Al-Bukhāri (8/ 6) (5991).
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منار القاري شرح مختصر صحيح البخاري.
لحمزة محمد قاسم (5/ 242).
بهجة الناظرين.
لسليم الهلالي (1/ 397).
نزهة المتقين.
لمصطفى الخن وغيره (1/ 311).
شرح رياض الصالحين.
لابن عثيمين (3/ 190).
Cited in books
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- قاموس الكبائر«لَيْسَ الوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنَّ الوَاصِلَ الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا» [137].
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- نبراس طالب (1)1«لَيْسَ الوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا»